8月26日
补考 哦 可恶的补考 我都还没有看补考的复习资料
可恨的管理经济学 为什么当了我 我只逃过不超过10次您的课 基本上不上课睡觉
虽然听不懂但还是基本上要去
唉 上天保佑我后天早上考试的时候 边上坐了个复习的好的人来拯救善良的我 ~
既然马上时新学期了
我们不能免俗也要在开学前许点新学期新愿望:
我希望这学期不要挂科了
上课老师的发音我都能听得懂
不要熬夜作息正常
一定多跑跑图书馆
8月16日
在出发前还前居然特别想见个人
于是第一次和S在成都约见面
就去唱K
我还是喜欢唱K 其实也不是 主要是没什么可以做的
本来是想当作秘密旅行 但不知道为什么是还是告诉S了 套多不知道的为什么 我觉得S 是不希望我去的
我想说的是 其实要是你阻止我去 哪怕只是表达一下这个意思 我会不去的
可恨的 可惜的是竟然没有一句劝阻的话
根可恨的是 为什么当我hotel里用电话问你 有没有一点后悔的时候 你沉默了半天 还是说了 有...
这种说不明白道不清楚的感觉特别让人烦心 伤筋动骨的
8月13日
没有补课的假日一日日地在消磨着人格。家里茶楼里里整日氤氲着昏昏欲睡的气味,像是把所有人罩在一张厚重的网中。而我活在矛盾当中,沉溺于挣扎的往复。
有人说我似乎每天心事重重的样子。往日的伪装抗不住如此沉重的负担。
解脱,去承认这是个错。
他在我这里,连想念都留不住。
建立在仓促基础上的感情,能经得起如何考验。浪漫的恋爱,那是别人的向往。
没有追求的过程,一切好似那么顺其自然。没有难分难舍,没有心动瞬间,所以没有开始,也没有结束。
甚至没有不考虑一切的爱。是我在自私。
我需要的,他给不了。他要的,我做不到。于是放弃了,不要了。似乎已没有过多的时间用来荒废,抑或虚度。
若他的眼中这份轻若鸿毛的感情只是用来偿还过去未实现的情愫,那么如今应该满足。若他怨恨在我身上付出过的感情,我只想骂他在曾经的一厢情愿。
其实他的感觉很对,我对他是有好感。所以倘若这算是亏欠,那么谁来偿还我。
找一个借口,将[我和他]从了无生息的关系中拯救。
至今都没有[我们]来作为句子的主语。ms是这样。。。
有一首歌这样唱着:以为找个人走进结婚礼堂,往后的幸福时间会培养。当初的年少轻狂让回忆去收藏,直到不成眠的夜里打开窗才发现心里那点沧桑。原来你一直在我心上。
原来你一直都在我心上。可惜两个人不等于我们
最近几个月,发生好多事,在我身上。突然是这么地不愿正视自己。
突然是这么地想念许多人。
其实看似有坚定意念和清醒理智的我,有些时候也会很无助。
N天前,我一个人的时候,就经常在电脑里放这首歌。今天才找到了完整歌词。
好久没有被一首歌打动心了。它的节奏在敲动我的心。歌手的声音像轻柔的细纱飘落在我的脸上。
I’ll be the reason for your pain,
and you can put the blame on me.
更主要的是好久听不到男人的忏悔。所以它才打动我的心。
接下来 就是一个男人 真心的忏悔
This life goes on, starting to learn more and more about responsibility and I realize that everything that I do is affecting the people around me. So I wanted to take this time out to apologize for things that I have done and for thing that haven’t occurred yet and things that they don’t want to take responsibility for.
I’m Sorry for the times that I left you home
while I was on the road and you were alone
I’m sorry for the times that I had to go
I’m sorry for the fact that I did not know.
That you were sitting home just wishing we
could go back to when it was just you and me.
I’m sorry for the times that I would neglect
I’m sorry for the times that I disrespect.
I’m sorry for the wrong things that I’ve done.
I’m sorry I’m not always there for my sons.
I’m sorry for the fact that I’m not away.
You can not sleep when I am not there.
Because I’m in the streets like every day.
I’m sorry for the things that I did not say.
Like, how you are the best thing in my world
and how so proud I am to call you my girl.
I understand that there are some problems
and I’m not too blind to know
all things you kept inside you
even though you might not show.
If I can’t apologize for being wrong,
than it’s just a shame on me.
I’ll be the reason for your pain,
and you can put the blame on me.
You can put the blame on me.*4
Said, you can put the blame on me.*3
You can put the blame on me.
Sorry for things that he put you through.
All the times you didn’t know what to do.
Sorry you had to go sell those bags,
just trying to stay busy until you heard from Dad.
But, you’d rather be home with all your kids,
as one big family with love and bliss.
And even though pops treated us like kids,
he got a second wife and you didn’t agree.
He got up and left you there alone,
sorry that you had to do it on your own.
I’m sorry that I went and added to your grief.
I’m sorry that your son was once a thief.
I’m sorry that I grew up way to fast.
I wish I would of listened and not been so bad.
I’m sorry that your life turned out this way.
Sorry that the Feds came and took me away.
I understand that there are some problems
and I’m not too blind to know
all things you kept inside you
even though you might not show.
If I can’t apologize for being wrong,
than it’s just a shame on me.
I’ll be the reason for your pain,
and you can put the blame on me.
You can put the blame on me.*4
Said, you can put the blame on me.*3
You can put the blame on me.
I’m sorry that it took so long to see,
what they did wrong, trying to put it on me.
I’m sorry it took so long to speak,
but I was on tour with Gwen Stefani.
I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt,
for the embarrassment that she felt.
Just a little young girl trying to have fun,
her daddy should’ve never let her out that young.
I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shutdown.
I hope they manage better next time around.
How was I to know she was underage,
in a 21 and older club they say?
Why doesn’t anybody want to take blame,
for rising back south, disgracing my name?
I’m just a singer trying to entertain.
Because I love my fans, I’ll take that blame!
Even though the blames on you.*3
I’ll take that blame from you.
And you can put that blame on me…
8月4日
有时候 睡觉前
不知觉走到衣橱前
想在里面睡觉
有时候 半夜突然走出房门
看着门外的马路
想躺在马路中间
有时候 站在高楼上望下去
什么都不思考
想就这样跳下去
有时候 看到可以爬上去的物体
有种冲动
想爬上去看风景
有时候 我真的很疯狂。。。
谁让我疯狂呢?